Ditch the Doll Label: How It Affects Your Daughter’s Self-Image

Are you calling your daughter a doll? Here’s why you should stop.

In the realm of parenting, encouraging imaginative play is a wonderful aspect of a child’s development. However, it’s crucial to be mindful of the language we use, as even seemingly harmless nicknames can have lasting effects on a child’s perception of self. Many parents and caregivers love to call their children “dolls” or “little dolls.” It may sound like a cute and affectionate nickname, but carries subtle implications that can hinder a child’s growth. In this article, we’ll explain why you should avoid using this term and what you can do instead.

The problem with calling children “dolls”

When you call a child a doll, you are essentially treating them as an object. You are implying that they are not a person with their own thoughts, feelings, and needs. You are also suggesting that their value lies in their appearance rather than their unique thoughts, feelings, and desires. Encouraging your daughter to express herself fosters autonomy and helps break free from limiting stereotypes.

Sadly, cultural norms sometimes contribute to this issue, as observed in Indian culture where girls are often taught to keep silent, suppressing their expressive nature. This can be especially harmful for girls, who are often expected to be delicate, fragile, and passive. Calling them dolls can reinforce these gender stereotypes and limit their sense of self and their potential. It can also make them feel like they have to suppress their emotions and opinions. It’s crucial to challenge these norms and create an environment where children are free to voice their thoughts and feelings.

One of our readers, who wishes to remain anonymous, shared her experience of growing up as a “doll” in India:

As a child I used to be expressive but as time passed, I was asked to keep my mouth shut. In Indian culture it is commonly observed that a girl child is taught to keep herself silent and is not allowed to express herself. Moreover parents like to call their daughters “dolls” as a nickname with the names like Gudiya Dolly….

How to use positive and respectful language with children

Instead of calling children “dolls”, it is important to use language that acknowledges their individuality and agency. This means using their name, or pronouns like “he” or “she” instead of “it”. It also means using language that is inclusive and respectful of all children, regardless of their gender, race, or ability. If you talk in your mother tongue ( not english ) refer them with respective works that we use to speak with our elders. Thus will also help them understand to speak with respect to their elders and senior persons.

Here are some examples of positive and respectful language you can use with children:

• “You are so smart and creative.”
• “I love how you express your feelings.”
• “You have such a kind and generous heart.”
• “You can do anything you set your mind to.”
• “You are a wonderful person and I’m proud of you.”

By using this kind of language, you are helping children develop a healthy self-esteem and a positive identity. You are also encouraging them to explore their interests and talents and to express themselves freely.

Conclusion

Calling children “dolls” may seem harmless, but it can actually have negative consequences for their development. It can reinforce harmful stereotypes and limit their sense of self. Instead, we should use language that acknowledges their individuality and agency and treats them with respect. This way, we can help them grow into confident and happy adults.